That I really cannot keep track of them all.... but I can describe one to you that I am guilty of:
This past Thursday, Tyler had what we are referring to as "the incident". He had peanut butter... and was allergic. This is a whole other story - this child abuse story is all about Katelyne.
On Thursday, whilst Tyler was in the middle of said reaction, I was frantically calling the doctor and attempting to hear the him while Tyler screamed and Katelyne was running crazy inside. The only logical thing to do was go into the backyard to hear his direction on what I should do next - I was really crossing my fingers for a margarita, but no such luck. In transition of my insideies and outsideies, both kitties and the dog followed. Upon my last entry before leaving for the doctor, one kitty and one dog followed me in - I was unaware of this curious kitty, Sparkle, not returning.
After a trip to the doctor, picking up some simple benedryl mixture and a quiet ride home... things started to simmer down with Tyler. Then it happened: we all realized that Sparkle was, in fact, missing. We looked all over for her - calling for her, shaking treats for her, everything. We finally decided to turn in and file this as "Dr. Doolittle has lost a cat"... (With all of the animals we have - not a bad thing....)
The next morning, Katelyne decided that she was not satisfied with being minus a kitty. So, after much argument and a few tears, I suggested we put out some food in a dish by the back door. She did. And then the abuse started - she came in and sat at the back door, waiting. She got up 2 times, once to run 10 feet away and grab books and another time to run the same distance and grab 2 puzzles.... it was sad.
I decided to divert her attention at about 11:30 with lunch... and then it happened. I was down the hall while she was enjoying lunch and she screamed, "MOMMY! I SAW SPARKLES TAIL! SHE IS BY THE BAR-BE-QUE!!!!!!! COME NOW!!!!!!!!"
I came down the hall a little skeptical. But, she was right... Sparkle was in the backyard. The only thing Katelyne was unaware of was that Sparkle was not going to come in without a fight.
We chased her all over, back and forth. After several trips across the backyard, I could no longer hold my tongue... "STUPID SHIT!!!!", I yelled at Sparkle. Katelyne very calmly looked up at me and retorted, "Mommy, we shouldn't say 'stupid.'", "You're right Honey, I am sorry..." Then we tried a different approach. I handed Katelyne a beach towel and I had another... I instructed her to hold up her towel and when I scared Sparkle her way to throw the towel on her! She was on board with it.... her reflexes had other plans. She is not the quickest in the face of excitement.
Finally, I am guessing out of exhaustion, Sparkle stopped and nestled herself between the wheel well of the trailer, (Redneck? Yes.) so I told Katelyne to walk s.l.o.w.l.y around the trailer to spook Sparkle a little and I would catch her with the towel. She did.... and when she was dead even with Sparkle, Sparkle just sat there - stupid shit. I had Katelyne squat down and pet her, Sparkle let her - stupid shit. So, I decided to walk over s.l.o.w.l.y... I got there and reached in to pet her, grabbed her scruff and brought her inside....
I AM A HERO!! (*Que Indiana Jones theme*)
So, Sparkle is home, Katelyne was not too badly bruised and now no kitties are allowed outside.... *sigh* Sorry Belle.
I have to agree with Katelyne....WE DON'T SAY STUPID....but shit is ok :-)So maybe in the future we use Shit Head instead!
ReplyDeleteWe were all so glad that Sparkle Farkle was found safe and sound!!! I'm sure her little adventure was fun but it's always good to get home where they know they are safe...WAIT did I say safe....in a house with two small children, a large dog, a black cat and a mom that says "Stupid"?????
I do have to say it is a fun house...and not like at the fair...never a dull moment!